Monday, June 22, 2015

Post Fathers Day

Hubby "suffered" through Fathers Day. It was visible that he was uncomfortable yesterday & when I questioned him about how he was feeling he said "I'm fine." Very quickly.

In the past I would give him cards from the fur babies, but this year it just didn't seem right. That and we've been very busy with some renovations that I didn't make it to the store to get him something. I tried to recognize him in other ways.

"Thank you for working on're amazing and smart, thank you for working on that."

One thing's for sure I am going to have to find a special way to honor just him this week.

On another note, I still haven't thrown away my medicine from our first IUI round. I just haven't been able to do it. It's weird being attached to medicine but it's not about the medicine but more about what it represents.

It represented hope and possibilities. It represented what might have worked...our future.

I'm not totally ready to let it go yet...but I can't have it banging around in the fridge to much longer. Because it also serves as a painful reminder that it didn't work. That it "just wasn't our time" (ughhh rolling my eyes)

While this first round didn't work and I am frustrated/upset/mad that it didn't, I'm glad the first try happened when it did. We are beyond stressed this week with a few house projects and some upcoming long term visitors coming to stay. I don't think I would have handled the stress as well this week, if I was taking medicine, stretching the bills beyond the paycheck, and then when it didn't take, being devastated on top of stressed...well...I'm pretty sure I would have blown thrown the 4 bottles of wine that were in fridge in one even though it sucked...I'm glad it happened when it did.

For now, I'm concentrating on staying healthy (mentally, spiritually, physically, emotionally) as well as taking care of the hubby as well as myself.


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