Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Be Still

Since I watched the sermon on Monday, the last two days I've been thinking about how to look at our infertility journey differently.

Such as, what things will be better for the wait.

As in, hopefully by the time we have children we could possibly be debt free. Which would allow me to not work (as much) and spend more time with the children that I desire to have. I can go to PTA meetings and movie nights, and whatever mundane stuff I dream of doing all without the worry of financial strain.

Possibly have children around the same time my sister starts to have them. We'll actually have kids that will be close in age and hopefully close in heart. 

I'll be able to bless people along the way. I've never felt called to minister to others. Try as I might, I believe in God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit, but I don't know how to explain to people what I believe and why I believe. Oh, I have a testimony of faith alright but how do you explain it with conviction? I feel more called to be someone who encourages. I can help people that are on this same journey that I am. I can be a blessing in other peoples lives.  Somehow.
I would like to start a biblical based support group for people in my area that are also struggling with infertility. I am allowing myself time and space to put this together. By saying no to things that drain me and that I no longer look forward too. I made a tough decision to leave my current bible study group for the pursuit of one that will better understand and support this journey.

I feel like, God wants me to be still and know that He has it all under control. That he will guide my steps towards creating the support group. Whether it happens within the next 6 weeks or 6 months, we shall see. But I need to be still enough to listen to him.





 XO,
C

Tuesday, September 29, 2015

The Long Way Around--Sermon from In Due Time

I happened upon this post awhile back but I must have saved it. Probably because I wanted to listen to the sermon when I got a chance. Yesterday I got just such a chance. 

Caroline over at In Due Time posted on 'The Long Way Around', it was a sermon by Charlotte Gambill given in 2011. Charlotte starts out by saying how this sermon will raise your head a little higher and lift that burden off your shoulders. Something I very much needed this last week. 


It was one of the best sermons I've listened to on Infertility. I can't thank Caroline enough for sharing it. It not only helped me feel better but definitely helped me change my perspective on my 'long way around' journey. 

Charlotte is funny, charismatic. She preaches in a way that I can absolutely relate too and understand. Take a listen here. It is a 45minute video on how her 'Long Away Around' journey was actually filled with blessings. Her long way around took 5 years. Not 5 minutes. As she says. 

It reminded me to believe in Jesus and his plans for my life. There are times in your life...and sometimes it will seem endless, that people will get what you have been praying for. What you have been waiting for. "Hello Jesus, remember me? The good girl? The girl that always goes to church? Always prays? Hello?" 

Charlotte talks about two such times in John. One where Jesus brings a widows son back to life and when he goes to Mary and Martha, for his friend Lazarus. One was an instant and one was 'A Long Way Around.'


Given the chance, more blessings can and will be reaped out of 'The Long Way Around' but you have to believe God when he tells you "Baby, I'm going to get you where your going. I'm just going to take you the long way around."



Trusting God and telling and reminding myself that I can be a blessing in someone's life today. That there is a purpose to Gods plan. That I will, get double for my trouble. Thank you Lord Jesus for Charlotte. Please, bless her minitstry as well as Caroline's ministry over at In Due time. Bless Caroline and her husband. Thank you Lord for this sermon. Amen. 

This morning even after listening to the sermon I wanted to give a snarky response to someone, but I reminded myself...there is a purpose to God's plan. This mess is a message and this trial will be my testimony. Even though, it's going to take me the long way around. 

Thank you for stopping by everyone, please take a listen to the sermon...45minutes...it's worth the long way around ;)
XO,
C

Monday, September 28, 2015

Insurance Petition

(Head over to Stirrup Queens to learn more about Microblog Monday... as well as check out her post for This Monday the 28th here at Ethical Dinner...I'm pretty sure I broke the 8 sentence rule...again.)

 Have you seen this petition floating around online? Oddly found it linked to a pin, almost didn't think it was true. However, after further investigation I signed it! I wanted to share this petition with you, as I personally have chronicled a little bit of your financial journey to do another IUI. Saving towards $3,500 is not only difficult financially but emotionally as well. Do we buy this even though we have a goal? Do we buy that because we need it even though it's expensive? How long will these financial decision put off our dream of building a family using assisted reproductive measures?

 Currently banked in our 'Piggy Bank' is just under $200, while it was larger, we decided to try and gain financial peace by taking out $500 to help fix one of our vehicles then sell it. Hoping that goes a long way towards paying for our second IUI.



However, I can tell you for sure that I have friends who owe their clinics of upwards of $15,000 and that's without an assisted procedure from their clinic. Their $15,000 debt only included medicine, shots, ultrasounds, and timed intercourse! A petition like this would be amazing for people such as myself. It would go a long ways towards helping us not just financially, again, but emotionally!

Please consider signing.  Mandate All Insurance to Cover Infertility as Basic Healthcare. Acknowledge Infertility as a disease, not a choice. 

XO,
C

Friday, September 25, 2015

Just One Minute

Up/Down/Up/Down.

One thing is for sure I have reached my max. I broke yesterday but I also started my cycle. This week just hurt. Sunday, I went to a family fun attraction with my mom for a work event, of hers. While, I love going to this every year and look forward it, I realized that, had our IUI worked, we would have been annoucing this month or next. Is that dumb to think like that?

I had this vision of how I would do the cute little announcement with a pumpkin...

I just need to let it go. We're still scraping to save, tackling our construction zone, living with family, I just am done. I have reached my max.

Then realizing with how overwhelmed I am. I need to let go of control. I need to let go of what could have been and the if's, and whatever else it is that is holding me back from remembering joy. I needed a day, and while I've taken my moments a few hours at a time, I just really need a day.

An entire day to sit, and not think. Not wonder. To let, go.






So instead of announcing something exciting, I am eating chocolate. Having a glass of wine, and after the family leaves next week, I am hunkering down and netflexing. For a solid 4 hours.


For one minute, PCOS does not have me. For one minute my husband does not have azoospermia. We're just C & C. Happy to even be near each other.

XO,
C


Wednesday, September 23, 2015

Book Review-The Girl on the Train

Book club is this Sunday and we are reading The Girl on the Train. I don't necessarily recommend it if you are in a rough place with your infertility journey...I find myself being a little more emotional than usual and I'm not sure if it has to do with the book or the fact that I'm reading the book and also watching a t.v show that is heavy on the infertility journey as well. Well, somewhat heavy.

Either way, if my book club decided on another tragic dark book I'm going to do my brain and heart a favor and sit out.

I do enjoy the book. The Girl on the Train, don't get me wrong. It's a great read. I've been dreading reading it, because I know how much the infertility role plays in the story line, but I started it on Monday and I'm half done. I don't normally read this fast either, but here are my thoughts so far.

I cannot stand the conniving Anna woman. If you sleep with a married man, you deserve all the crazy in your life that you're going to get. (Unless you're married to the married man, sleep away!) You invaded another woman's life and home. Also her husband Tom...ridiculous. It's sort of sweet how he still tries to take care of drunk Rachel, but also Rachel...get it together. You're not married to the man anymore. Get a life that doesn't involve someone who looks to sleeping with other women as solving their marriage problems.

I get that mistakes happen, I'm not going to judge anyone, but what I am saying is that I'm emotionally involved in the book more than I should be lolol!

Some quotes from the book...
*"It didn't happen. No doctor has been able to explain to me why I can't get pregnant. I'm young enough, fit enough, I wasn't drinking heavily when we were trying..... We did one round of IVF, which was all we could afford. It was, as everyone had warned us it would be, unpleasant and unsuccessful. Nobody warned me it would break us. But it did. Or rather, it broke me, and then I broke us."

*"The thing about being barren is that you're not allowed to get away from it. Not when you're in your thirties. My friends were having children, friends of friends were having children, pregnancy and birth and first birthday parties were everywhere. I was asked about it, all the time. My mother, our friends, colleagues at work. When was it going to be my turn?" 

*"We were trying for a baby," I say, and my voice catches. Still, after all this time, every time I talk about it the tears come to my eyes. "Sorry"

There was another quote, that I can't seem to find, about how she's better now. Even though it hurts she's better. She can now go to the park and watch the children play and their mothers that are with them. It reminded me of how there are some things that no longer punch that fist size hole through my heart, or that wave of hot emotion that drags me under. Then there are some days that it does get close.

I'm in it till the end though. I need to know she finds resolution or that she finds that place where she can live with the pain.






I'll let you know how to goes through the end of the book.
XO,
C

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Much Better

Today is a much better day.

In case you need a lift as well. here's some a happy ending.

Charles Kelley from Lady Antebellum expecting first child after years of infertility.



Although this one says two years, but another article I had read said 6...but struggling still sucks. No matter the wait.

XO,
C

Thursday, September 17, 2015

Giving up/Giving In

Today I wanted to share a short post on seem really neat articles I've been reading about celebrities who have been dealing with or do go through some fertility issues, but I might save that for a different day. 

Today, all I'm focused on is my husband. It has not been a good martial day for us. I'm not completely sure why. It all started over a bottle of vitamins, really. I am trying to get us back into the routine of taking vitamins. My husband has a lot of pain through his body due to the very strenuous nature of his job, and he is often fatigued. We've been to multiply doctors. Thinking it might be Chronic Fatigue, Fibromygalia. We did this before and after our fertility treatments. 

Nothing, every doctor we've seen has come up with a whole lot of nothing. Other doctors in the past have come up with depression, but he says he doesn't feel hopeless, he doesn't feel depressed. His body just aches and cramps and hurts. 

I believed if nothing else, get him started eating healthier (because whether he admits it or not, he has kind of a crap diet.) and to have him start taking Turmeric and a B complex vitamin. Normally I set them beside his breakfast plate so he'll remember. This morning I forgot. I attempted to put them in his lunch box, saying 'you need to take these. Just take them with you.'


He said "You need to start remembering to give them to me with breakfast."

I came back with "So I have to be your mom then?"


After he left I chucked the vitamin bottle across the hallway. I felt like a child. Felt guilty for giving into the anger. 

And the day has spiraled down from there, through a mix up at the bank and a few tense text messages. 

The last text I sent was "Can we start this day over?"

What else can I do? What else is a wife to do? Whether he believes he's depressed or not, one thing is for sure, he won't feel better unless he...FEELS better. I need to remember to take this one day at a time. 

He was SO good a protecting me and helping me and being what I needed when this first started. How can I do the same for him? 


This song keeps bouncing through my head



I'm going to stick with my current game plan. Take a walk Sunday morning...hopefully I can get him out of bed early enough. As well as try to have a fire pit night once the yard is done, on Sunday. I'm going to schedule him a massage next week. Start tomorrow off on a better foot. And try to continue to be positive. To speak life into each situation so it doesn't seem so overwhelming. I struggled with the depression, I guess it's finally just hit him. 

Each a positive step in the right direction hopefully. 

XO,
C

Wednesday, September 16, 2015

Bold Sailor

Earlier this week I was at my Therapist's office. I started seeing a therapist two years ago...I believe I started going two months after my husband's azoospermia diagnosis. My first therapist, while wonderful, became pregnant and decided to take year off to do the mom thing.

Great. So I had to find another one, in all honestly my last therapist said, you'd really work well with Therapist A or Therapist B. Well, turns out Therapist B was older then therapist A, soooo I bet you can guess who I picked...I didn't want to have to find ANOTHER therapist because they ALSO got pregnant....lol....all you can do is laugh.

Anyway, as I was talking to her she was explaining how this journey of infertility looks, (Caroline over at In Due Time writes a really great post, almost explaining this journey looks like, feels like.) my therapist explained it's like murky water, I just pictured a marsh. A swampy, horrible, stinky marsh. She went on to say that 'this is the course. You did not cause this. Nothing you've said or thought caused you to be infertile.' Funny how those thoughts pop in every once in awhile. 'This is just the course you are on. Everyone who experiences infertility has thought these same thoughts, have been this lost, this confused, this hurt, this depressed.'

Oddly as she was talking it reminded me of this quote I LOVE! So I started smiling, and she stopped and asked why I was smiling?


She said, that is a great analogy. She told me to do something that was going to remind me of this everyday. I did a minorly childish thing, I drew a small anchor on the inside of my forearm. I pictured it there but today I actually just drew it. It's awful, lol...I'm no artist, but it's fun to look at.

I also told her how, I haven't been sure how to pray lately. I was so confidant when praying during our IUI convinced this was the path that God was leading us down. That everything God was doing and showing me was telling me that this would work. Then when it didn't, I started telling God, I can't talk to you right now, because I'm mad. I love you but I'm mad. I did that for awhile. A few weeks at least. Now that I've gone back to reading my devotionals and reading my bible again, my prayers are more..."Hey God...so...I mean...what's up? Do you still want me to pursue an IUI with donor sperm? Just confused, it didn't work last time...so...I mean...yeah, can I have a sign maybe? Please? That this is the way to take? Thanks...talk to sooner or maybe later..okay bye...amen"

She reminded that it is okay to go with God confidence and say what it is we need.






Pray, "God, I need a clear sign for my life. Show me, tell me if we should pursue IUI with donor sperm. Amen."

Go to God with boldness.

Luke 11:8-9 "I tell you, if friendship is not enough to make him get up to give you the bread, your boldness will make him get up and give you whatever you need. So I tell you, ask, and God will give to you. Search, and you will find. Knock, and the door will open for you." (I haven't found what version this particular wording is in...haven't found it with the line in red, but I liked it none the less.)

I'll be saying bold prayers for all of us, for a long time to come.
XO,
C

Tuesday, September 15, 2015

Had to Share Links

Two links I came across today:: The first caught my attention because I have recently been talking to a friend in my bible study group about starting an Infertility Support Group at our church.

Elisha over at Waiting for Baby Bird wrote an amazing post on just how to do such a thing. Or rather in her opener how to start a Faith Based Infertility Group. I will be pouring over this page and talking with my friend more in the coming weeks. At some point, I will also email our pastor to get his advice and gudiance.

How to Start a Faith Based Infertility Group from Waiting for Baby Bird 


And this one, it's as if my fellow bloggers are reading my mind right now! I've talked about how I might be reading Girl on a Train, well fellow infertility blogger over at The Next 15000 Days posted what she thought about the book!

Very interesting! I'll be picking up the book tomorrow!


I also recently purchased Lavendar essential oil to try and help with some of the depression at our house. I'll keep you posted after a give it a go for a few weeks.

XO,
C

Monday, September 14, 2015

When He Has Depression:: An infertility journey

I have so much on my mind and not enough time to write about it. All my posts are turning into late night meanderings it seems.

Bible study started again today. It was nice to see everyone, but tough as well. Everyone talking about how their kids are growing and they want to say prayers for raising change makers and world leaders and strong believers.

While I sat and still wondered if I'd ever be able to contribute to that. Yes, I will pray for their children. Yes, I do love them all, but still it sits like a rock in your gut until you know for sure, how you'll be contributing to that conversation for future conversations to come.

It's hard not to get lost in the what if. I also went back to therapy today. It was good. C and I have been off lately and I haven't been able to put my finger on it. After talking with my therapist she noted, as she is not his therapist, but as I talked more about him that it sounds like he is also dealing with some depression. How could I not have seen this? And what can I do to help? I am going to plan specific fun event that lift his spirit, I will also try to be the helper that he needs me to be.

I know he's overwhelmed with life. Not just because over our current situation but he is feeling the burden of taking care of our house, our lives, our finances. Taking care of me and protecting my emotions and safe guarding my heart.

How did I not recognize the pattern for his mood/behavior? Probably wrapped in my world trying to make myself better but not reaching out hand out to him to check to make sure he's okay.

Tonight I made my first step in helping him. Knowing he is struggling with sleep, I suggested taking some melatonin to help him sleep more soundly. I promised a lazy foot rub. Then suggested a nice walk on Sunday morning. Light and easy. LOL,  I even promised we didn't have to talk. He seemed to perk up a bit. He's a head strong man I know, and knowing that I married a man of little words but defintiely a lot of action, I know I need to speak his launguage back to him.

I need to show him (which is an action) rather then tell him about love and light these next few weeks. And leave the rest up to God. Pray for his health.

I found two INCREDIBLE articles about dealing with spousal depression. The first is from Focus On the Family, How to Help When Your Spouse Is Depressed.

And Helping a Spouse with Depression. Overcoming Depression to Have a Happy Marriage, from the Dating Divas. 

 
Numbers 8 and 9 in the second portion of helping your cope are going to be key in my marriage I think. He's bound to tell me, when I ask "How can I help?" he'll respond with "C, I'm just fine."


I'm a fixer...that's what I do, I guess. Or rather, I'm a doer. I'm sort of manish in that aspect. I'm terrible and just listening. I automatically try to figure out how I can help, or what I can do to fix. But having gone through...actively walking through depression, I know that it has to come from within. It's times like these you really figure out how to be your own hero.  I will do what I can, but leave the rest up to God. Or rather give it all to God and assist where I'm my heart is lead to help.

Well for now, it's DEFINITLEY bed time. Good night, sleep tight. Thank you for reading and being with us on this journey.


XO,
C




Friday, September 11, 2015

Support PCOS Awareness

I love getting shirts for good causes. I'm not sure if I have an addiction...sometimes I swear I sign up for a race just to get the shirt ;)

I feel like it's the best way to show support to whatever touches your heart. What I REALLY desire though is PCOS SHIRT! I would LOVE something like that...here are a few web sites that help create shirts fo ryou.

Zazzle





Cafe Press


Those are the two websites that I know are reported to make the best shirts. There also ETSY



Need to work on getting me a shirt. Hope everyone is having a good week!
XO,
C

Thursday, September 10, 2015

Still in Vacay Mode

I got a wonderful picture from my sister of the rest of the money we will get from our garage sale! Which is great, however...our washer went out 2 hours after we left on vacation. So...I had to take a trip to mom and mad's (only 15 minutes away) to get our laundry done.

One step forward two steps back...what's that saying, it's more like we're doing the cha-cha.


Well, we're learning to become really go dancers at this point. While I try to get back to real life for the end of the week I wanted to share a really great article that I found at Natural Fertility Info, all about PCOS. Signs, symptoms, how it's diagnosed. Treated. Tips on how to best treat the symptoms, as there is in cure. Otherwise it's worth a read!

You can check out the Article here.

XO,
C


Saturday, September 5, 2015

Facebook & Book Club

3. 3 pregnancy announcements on Facebook this week.


Yep. 3.


These ecards are helping lol!

I can't find the one I really want though...the one where it says "Just going to check facebook really quick. ANNNNNDDDDDD 49 pregnancy announcements. Alright, I'm done."


Saw this today though as well and it helped, plus having some time away from the computer this next week will really help.


Funny how the smallest things can really speak truth into your heart.

Before I forget, my book club picked Girl on the Train, while I was on the Resolve network a few days ago, someone had posted about books that don't have any MENTS in them. Moments that might be a trigger. Turns out Girl on a Train, FULL OF THE THEM!


I've decided to forgoe purchasing the book this go round, I'll check it out from the library, and if I get to a point where I can't handle it I'll return it. That way I won't feel obligated to keep reading it because I purchaed it. I'll also be going to the book club meeting, might try to be an adovate! Somehow...or least give an honest opinion on what MENTS this book might bring up.

I pulled a list of questions off of Pengiun and #6 will be an interesting question.

  1. One of Rachel’s deepest disappointments, it turns out, is that she can’t have children. Her ex-husband Tom’s second wife Anna is the mother to a young child, Evie. How does Rachel’s inability to conceive precipitate her breakdown? How does the topic of motherhood drive the plot of the story? What do you think Paula Hawkins was trying to say about the ways motherhood can define women’s lives or what we expect from women’s domestic lives, whether as wives, mothers, or unmarried women in general?
Yep, book club will be interesting. When I start to read it I will definitley give you the play by play of my thoughts!

XO,
C

Thursday, September 3, 2015

PCOS Awareness Month

It completely slipped my mind that it's Poly Cystic Awareness Month..I found an inforgraph from PCOS Diet Support that you might find interesting.



And this awesome post from With Great Expectation






I'm going to have fun pouring over these all the blog posts about PCOS this month and all the inspiring messages I'm sure to read. I will keep you all posted.



XO,
C

Wednesday, September 2, 2015

For something completely different

I'm trying to get out of my funk a little...a part of doing that is by concentrating on other things.
I like to lose myself in a t.v. show or a movie. This morning rather than turn on the news, I turned on the Walking Dead season 1. It's something different to start the day and it's fun to go back and see what I remember/have forgotten. I'll probably watch an episode(s) every day until the new season comes back on...I also really enjoy going to the movie theater. Although the movies can sometimes be dicey. You never know how might end up....raining on your sunshine parade while you're attempting to feel better.

 
Therefore today, to give my brain a break, I've decided to compile a list of my top 10 favorite movies, feel free to share what your favorite movies are. Plus, even I'm tired of my miseralla posts.

This list is my top 10, of all time. Oh, I should probably mention my criteria for favorites...it draws more than 1 emotion out of me. I can connect with it on a personal level or to transports me into the story. Meaning I'm not thinking about what to eat tomorrow or what I'm going to do after the film is over. I'm IN the film. I'm hook, line, sinker in the story. The plot line is consistent. Not messy. Lastly, they're movies that I can probably quote frontwards and backwards. Without fail if they're running the reruns on the television I can almost NEVER pass up the opportunity to watch it. Almost never. Like 99% of the time I won't pass it up or even change the channel during the commercials. The acting is on point.

Stick through the list...you might be surprised!

Worthy Mention Tie for #10...The Longest Ride--Okay, I have yet to read the book, and there's a good possibility that I only like this movie for one reason, it's also not...well...I feel like part of the story line gets jumbled at the end...just a tiny part but otherwise it's a good movie. Part of the story is a GIANT ments. (Ments--if you're new to the IF community MENTS means this could possibly be a trigger for you.) But it was one of the first movies where male factor infertility popped up. I watched this movie last year, at a time when my husband and I had a lot more questions then answers and this movie really reminded me of what REALLY mattered.
Plus, come on...Scott Eastwood...I mean, how could you not...He's legal right? I hope I'm not a cradle robber. Just kidding...this movie has a bit of the cheese factor turned up, it is a Nicholas Sparks movie after all, but the second story line of the older couple is what I really connected with. That part of the story line was well thought out. I'm not sure it's a GREAT movie but like I said, I connected with it. Also...finding 10 movies that I ABSOLUTELY LOVE was hard!!!



Worthy Mention Fireproof/Tie for 10-- the cheese factor on this one is AWFUL! Turned up all the way. The acting from the extra's is a little...well it's noticeable that they are acting! It's a good Christian movie though. It's a great reminder how we should be treating our spouses. That they are treasures and how to love them through the hard times. Again, not a GREAT movie, but one that brings on powerful emotions.



Okay...here's my REAL list!

9. The Shawshank Redemeption- Morgan Freeman should probably be my only answer here, lol. In all seriousness though, this is a great movie. It takes the film watcher to a different place and time. It makes you wonder if he really did shoot his wife and lover and if he should be allowed to get away with it. This is one of the movies that I have had to watch a few times but it's very well thought out.I always notice something different when I watch it. 

8.  The Odd Life of Timothy Green-- this movie is a walking MENTS  It's about a couple who couldn't conceive. It's full of those private moments that only couples who face this journey can truly understand. It spoke to me at a time when I needed it. It reminded me of hope. And what more can you ask for from a movie?



7. The Help--This movie has a minor MENTS story line but still very good. The book was great and the film stayed fairly close to the book story line/plot. This movie makes you think and takes you to a different time and place. It made me appreciate what my life as it is now. It was a girl who had the courage to tell the story of a group of people that needed their story told. Yet it made the family look within themselves to ask themselves some very hard questions.


6. Sweet Home Alabama- Sweetest romance movie. It was the first movie I ever cried at. For many reasons. I think at the time I was going through a breakup with a boy and wasn't sure how I felt, then later in life, when Jake said "You can have roots and wings, Mel." Reminded me that I could have big dreams yet remain grounded and at home. Silly but good. Love it. It reminds you to look at the good things. It does have a MENTS  moment in it. It's a good one. This movie has gone through 3 different stages of life with me, all of them moments of some form of pain. Oddly enough. Love this movie.



5. 300- LOVE! LOVE! LOVE! Gerard Butler. Abs. The warrior spirit. The Spartan women. Slaying the bad guys. Based on true story! When the odds are stacked against you, you can beat them. Governments can be overthrown. The quotes get me so pumped up for run!


4. The Lord of the Rings...okay so it's a trilogy, but I will watch them all back to back every time. The cinematography is impeccable. The quotes are non-stop. It's hope, love, devastation. Beating the odds. It's the little guy doing the impossible thing. It's EVERYTHING movies are made of. I could go on, but I won't. If fantasy worlds aren't your thing, that's okay but this movie will transport you to a different place and time that, will have you believing that you can walk up towards those difficult mountains in your life.

    


3. Die Hard With a Vengeance- I love the way he says a$$hole! It's hysterical. It's a GREAT laugh, but just enough suspense to keep you on your seat. This is 90's action filming at it's best.


2. Lucky Number Slevin--I've only seen this movie once. It was years and years ago that I saw it. I'm telling you though it's the craziest movie to watch. You don't realize what's actually happening until the very end. Plus Josh Hartnett? I mean, come on--he's hot! That's just a bonus though. This movie is well thought out. It's complicated but not hard to follow. Very much worth a watch if you haven't seen it yet. Plus my sister and I use the phrase Kansas City Shuffle phrase when we're together and if someone is going on about babies or pregnancy, she helps me change the subject. Because we're vigilantes like that.



1. Hocus Pocus--because it's the best Halloween Movie of all time. A kid who has forgotten the magic of Halloween remembers what is and finds out that it is in fact real. The snarky lines are hard to forget and are quoted often. And in the end Bette Middler plays one of the best witches of all time. Good vanquishes evil and the good souls are set free to be happy again. How can you NOT love it?