Wednesday, September 30, 2015

Be Still

Since I watched the sermon on Monday, the last two days I've been thinking about how to look at our infertility journey differently.

Such as, what things will be better for the wait.

As in, hopefully by the time we have children we could possibly be debt free. Which would allow me to not work (as much) and spend more time with the children that I desire to have. I can go to PTA meetings and movie nights, and whatever mundane stuff I dream of doing all without the worry of financial strain.

Possibly have children around the same time my sister starts to have them. We'll actually have kids that will be close in age and hopefully close in heart. 

I'll be able to bless people along the way. I've never felt called to minister to others. Try as I might, I believe in God, Christ, and the Holy Spirit, but I don't know how to explain to people what I believe and why I believe. Oh, I have a testimony of faith alright but how do you explain it with conviction? I feel more called to be someone who encourages. I can help people that are on this same journey that I am. I can be a blessing in other peoples lives.  Somehow.
I would like to start a biblical based support group for people in my area that are also struggling with infertility. I am allowing myself time and space to put this together. By saying no to things that drain me and that I no longer look forward too. I made a tough decision to leave my current bible study group for the pursuit of one that will better understand and support this journey.

I feel like, God wants me to be still and know that He has it all under control. That he will guide my steps towards creating the support group. Whether it happens within the next 6 weeks or 6 months, we shall see. But I need to be still enough to listen to him.


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