Wednesday, December 9, 2015

Taking a risk

The truth is I manage another blog online. But wanted to keep it separate from this blog. If you haven't made the connection that's really okay. And if you have I ask that you just wink my way and don't say a word.


The reason why I mention this is because my husband lost a close family member two weekends ago. It was an incredibly rough week for us as we also put my cat down as well.

The reason why I post about this, because the loss of my husbands family member made it all the more difficult by our infertility diagnosis. One of the only children left to not have produced offspring. As the pastor talked about a way to leave a legacy, a way to remember someone we looked up, is to honor that person by passing down that legacy to your children.

While it can be pointed out that we could leave a legacy of this family members big heart through giving back to the community, to the nieces, and nephews we have, some how it still hurts. I couldn't help but think about how it will be easier for other family members who get to go home and watch life happen before their eyes. To watch little ones grow. To move on.

My husband spoke of, after the death, in our own private moment, when he told his loved one about when he told them that we couldn't have least biological ones...this family member looked to the bright side. "There's always adoption".

Now we are throwing ourselves into projects, being with friends, and spending time with our doggie girl.

She started looking for T the other day. Turns out the doggie girl doesn't like having the house to herself as much as she thought she wanted.

It was a good decision to let go of my aging friend. My friend whom I met when I was 10. Whose veins were failing when I took him in. My friend who I spent countless nights pouring my soul too. My friend whom I fed a salmon fillet the night before the appointment. My friend who always knew when I was crying,

My first best friend.

There will never be another.

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